Failure #4

So yesterday I had no fails to write about...well today I seemed to be making up for lost time. It all started when I left my class to go to the Rot to get some lunch. I got almost to the door when I realized I did not have my wallet. I had accidentally left it in my friends dorm room. So I turned around in disappointment and started the long walk back to my dorm. Well there I was just walking through the hallway, when all of the sudden I see this guy tripping over my foot. And btw not just a trip...this was a hardcore trip, he almost fell into the door. Oh and not only did I trip this poor guy but there was a huge crowd of people, so I couldn't even stop to apologize. Well at this point I'm just laughing at myself thinking...could I be any clumsier. I think we all know the answer to that question.
Well I rode the bus back to my dorm and was following a girl into the building. She stops at the door and starts rifling through her huge backpack for her keys. I thought that it might take awhile because she had a pretty big backpack so I decided to just get my keys. Now I was rifling through my bag. Guess what... I didn't have my keys. "Great!" I thought to myself and laughed as she finally found her keys and opened the door. I went straight to my friends' room to get my wallet. Their door was locked. I sat outside their room for a minute and then I got a text message from one of the girls that lived there, Lisa, asking if I wanted to go to the Rot. Hah! Did I ever...I was starving! I told her my wallet was locked in her room but she said she'd pay for me and we planned to meet at 1:45. Well I had about a half an hour to kill and I was dead tired so I just decided to sleep in my room. I went to open the door, which is usually unlocked, but of course today it was not. So I just gave up, took my glasses off, and slept on the couch in the common room. Well I woke up right as I was supposed to leave, and I didn't want to be late so I rushed down the stairs and out the door. As soon as I got outside, and the door closed behind me, I realized that I couldn't see anything, because as luck would have it, I left my glasses in my dorm. I turned around to go and get them...but of course I did not have my keys, so I just said whatever and walked to the Rot. Well on my way to the Rot I managed to almost get hit by a motorcycle and a car at the same time. Yes. That was my day.

And thus goes Failure #4--Failure to remember things? Idk what you would call it...but it doesn't matter...it's a fail nonetheless.

Failure #3

I actually have not failed enough to write about it today. Don't get me wrong, the nights not over, it just hasn't happened yet. But fear not my faithful followers (both of you) I have many a past fails to tell. This particular failure of which I'm about to inform you of, actually has a video lurking around somewhere in a friends house. I have yet to see this video but if I ever get ahold of it... rest assured it will be burned. That being said, on to the story.
It was a few years ago. The summer before my junior year maybe (idk...I've never been good with time) A couple of friends and I went on a camping trip to Inlet NY. This name actually has alot of significance to it because the two friends I went with, happened to be my best friends named Lisa and Erik. Together we called ourselves LET (I'll let you figure that one out). It was a great weekend and I was sad to leave, but as we were driving we passed this HUGE rock. We being the exciting, adventurous, cool kids we were, decided itd be a good idea to climb it. My cousin Erik (yea, not just best friend, blood relative) is pretty tall and so he helped Lisa (who is barely 5') get up. And she managed to climb up it with little difficulty. Then Joely (Lisa's younger sister) got up. Well she was little, so it wasnt hard for her to be hoisted up. Then it was my turn.
Now I'm 5'10" and not small...at all. I'm a pretty big person to put it nicely. I'm also...athletically challenged (Although I did win an award for gym class...rofl). So it took a little more effort to get me on this rock. I mean, my cousin tried to help, really he did. But the world was pretty much working against him, especially the laws of gravity, not to mention murphys law which pretty much is the story of my life.
I'm trying so desperately hard right now to think of a way to describe to you how pathetic my attempts were. Because I remember trying and trying and just... not being able to move further up that rock. I mostly remember laughing. Alot. Which dosnt help you when you're trying to climb up something as massive as this rock. I remember hanging off of the edge, my cousin trying as hard as he could to push me up but I just was not budging. I vaguely remember screaming encouraging words to him. Things like "Push! You can do it! Ahhh Help me! I'm slipping! Erik you better not drop me or I'll hate you!" Probably something along those lines...
Well guess what.
He dropped me.
And can I say... sliding down a rock on your stomach...is kind of painful.
But I'm a big believer in "If you fall off your horse you just get back on" (lol not really) but we tried again anyway. And eventually...with the help of EVERYONE, I did manage to get onto that rock.

So failure #3 would be....failure to rock climb.

Although again...I technically succeeded, because I did get on top of that rock.


***Just to clarify that picture is completely authentic. That is indeed me hanging off that rock.***

Failure #2

I could come up with several stories where I have failed miserably at something. However, those stories would take a while to write and I have a limited amount of time right now, so I'm just going to tell you my failure of the day. It was nothing to terrible, nothing out of the ordinary, so don't expect to be thrilled off the edge of your seat. (because I'm sure that's what happened when you read that amazing rant about a pen) But anyway tonight I went to the cafeteria (aka The Rot) with some friends of mine. Well it was time to leave and everyone had left but I was still gathering together all my napkins and plates. I grabbed my keys and tried to shove them in my pocket. For the life of me they would not go in there! So I resorted to wearing them around my neck...which I actually do more often than I should (apparently its dorky). Then I grabbed my two plates with all my napkins piled on top (I always have a bunch of napkins because I'm pretty much the messiest eater alive) and I attempted to leave. Well not even 2 steps from the table the napkin on top fell off...so I bent down to pick it up. Well as soon as I bent over and picked up the napkin, the straw in my cup fell out. I was starting to get frustrated. I bend over one more time to pick up the straw and another napkin falls off. I finally just set all of my stuff down, picked up my garbage and left. It was then that I noticed the table of guys sitting right next to me and laughing.

So that would be Failure #2...Failure to not litter i guess you could call it.

Although in the end I did succeed...hm

Failure #1

I don't write often, but occasionally I get inspired to do so. This happened to me once while I was waiting for my friend at the mall. I had just gotten off work and had about an hour and a half to kill. I could have gone shopping, but I hate shopping and I had this incredible urge to write something great, something profound. The only problem was that I had nothing to write on or with. So I thought to myself, "Well, I'm in a mall. I can just buy a pen and a notebook." I believed this to be a good plan and so I went on the hunt for writing materials.
I ended up in a Hallmark store. I found a notebook, but the only pens I could find were the stupidest looking pens ever. They were short, fat and had a face and tassels. While I had picked one up to examine it I ran into a woman from my church who happened to work there. Well she happened to bring up the pen that I was holding and mentioned how cute it was. "Oh great." I thought to myself as she motioned for me to move to the cash register so she could ring me up. I didn't want to offend her and so I just bought the stupid pen. It cost me about $2.50.
That should have been the end of it. I should have just sat down and wrote with that pen. But I could not let myself be seen writing with that stupid pen. Pride comes before the downfall. So I went on the hunt for another, more normal looking pen. I finally found one, just your average, everyday, ordinary pen. I brought it to the cash register. The cashier rang me up. "That'll be $4.50."
Nope, that was not a mistype. 4 dollars and 50 stinkin cents for a normal pen.

Yes that would be failure #1.

And just in case you're wondering...NOTHING profound came of it. I was too mad about paying so much for a pen, when I already had one, to write anything awe inspiring.